Just wanted to leave my little prints here. Maybe no one reads anymore but thats okay.

I’m happy the way it is.

I’m glad today I took a break from everything and didn’t do anything.

I’m happy that my boyfriend and I still enjoy each other’s company and are in the midst of planning for our 3rd annivesary party. Almost wanted to open it up to the general public, but we’re thinking we’re not that popular. So it’s gona be a closed door event. Recently, I made a new friend who was trying to persuade me not to get married too early.

I’m trying to be less stubborn and be open to others’ ideas. So here I am, thinking through the truth of her thoughts. Yes the world statistics shows that half the world’s married couples become unmarried. But there is still that 50% who stay married. But guess what? I do know many many married couples of all stages and ages who stay happily married. The power of a good business system.

I will be that positive statistic.

Of course my life ain’t ideal, but it is perfect for me. I’m not entirely pleased with the money that comes to my bank account now, but I know its temporary and that it will increase as time comes along my way. I’m happy I don’t starve and that I can still afford tiny pleasures in life. I’m almost done paying off the water treatment system, and soon the laptop i bought recently. I’m starting to pay my NUS laptop loan and then my tuition loans. They’ll be over soon, somehow.

I’m happy that every day of my life is spent working towards something good and positive. I don’t intend to hurt anyone and everyone I meet has been lovely. I know what I want, and I do the things to get what I want. I have dreams written down, and I think of ways to achieve them.  I really have to thank my lucky stars.

My talk- giving skills seem to have improved. Thank God for all the seminars and books I’ve submerged myself in. I see myself growing and I know I’m changing for the better. I sincerely believe we need to keep improving, and instead of stagnating after work and watching TV, there are tons of better things to do.

I screwed up the other day, but I took 5 minutes to suck it in and continue to rush off to do my talk. Can’t let it affect me.

My dog just peed blood. I hope he doesn’t have to go for surgery. The consultation+medication+xray cost $110. I’ve never seen a doctor that cost that much.

im contented with being contented.

these days, i find it really hard to say enough for this blog.

Before the brown incident happened, i was thinking seriously about what is it abt this country that I don’t like. It’s hard to admit it, but I’m not proud of this country. It’s disillusioning and there’s no hope in this land.

Some years back, I found out from my developmental economics lecture that we’re on the same social development scale as Nigeria. we have the same amount of freedom of speech. Proven now, isn’t it.

I can’t really verbalise this feeling I have, but it makes me want to leave. leave everything here and go. There are good things about this place, no doubt. But the other things, disappoint me.

i need to smell freedom.

Recently, I've been sleep deprived. Surprisingly, I havent been that tired. Those supplements sure work some wonders. It's been average of 3-4 hours everyday. Initially there were just too many things to do. Now its still true, but i'm also finding things to do.

Last night, i did work till 4am again. After that it took me a while to sleep, cos i couldnt stop thnknig about the stuff i had to do.

Then i sided trackeddd and started thinking about love. 

"Have ever you been madly in love?"

"What's the meaning of madly in love?"

"Can you be cooly in love? Moderately in love? Just in love?"

"Is it an all-or-nothing concept? Either love or don't love, but if say love, then its love very very much." 

I is working too hard. 

He called me! Haha! You know sometimes you (think you) know about a person just by hearing his or her voice. So sweet of him to call.

perfect for talking boring stuff.

like politics.

Actually i don't think much about the goverment stuff. I know when I was still dating James (gasp, it's been 5 years!), I told one of his friends in a round about way how I loved Singapore. I talked about how people depended on the government too much. Every damn thing gets them running to the govt. If you really think they're lousy, then prove it by standing up and doing something.

Easier said than done yeah. That's me, at age 19. But at least I've been always a positive person.

5 years later, today, this woman ding dongs at my door enthusiastically, informing us a PAP member is going to visit us.

HAR? HA?

Then I turned to my granny and asked, how come the other 3 years 11 months never see them visit us?

Just as they arrived at my gate, I had an urgent sms to send for work related reasons. They rang the bell, knocked the door, machiam scared we dun want to welcome them. Por nervously stood by my bedroom door, and kept asking me why I didn't want to go outside.

After a long day at work, this was really the ideal way to end the day.

So we stood at the gate, waiting for the minister guy to come by. His ka kia came by first and said: Later you can tell the ministers your problems.

HAR? HA?

Second later, this malay minister came and started speaking in chinese, asking us to support him and vote for him. They were holding cards with the names of the people living in each household they will visit.

I had no problem to share with him. Maybe I could have asked him the same problem i gave my students all week:

There is an aeroplane flying 2-3km above you. A package drops out. How far must you walk to retrieve the package.

If the minister can give me an answer, should I be more convinced of his abilities?

Anyway, I had no problems to tell him. I don't know him. Besides being relatively impressed that he can speak decent mandarin, I still dont know him. Don't know this thoughts, his plans, his ideas, his goals or his passion.

Passion for people would be quite ideal.

I told my mum later that its really a bad sign if the people dun want to tell you their problems. In their eyes (actually its my eyes), these men in white dun have the ability to solve our problems. Not that we never tried. We've queued up at GRC offices waiting for long time to have them listen to us speak to them. At the end of the day, they tell us they can't solve the problem. But they can refer us to a specialist/lawyer who might be able to advise us. Seriously, wtf.

There was this time I was in problem briefing meeting, where we were discussing about a problem, and the objective is to help the students understand that we can overturn authority, if we do it with rationale. This colleague was telling us he helps ministers write letters, and "you'll be surprised, but once a minister writes a letter on behalf of a resident, the effect is usually quite positive" (definitely not exact words, but quite along that line). I frowned and thought

1. Most companies/people would definitely respond positively to a minsiters letter, lor

2. Does it have to take a minister's letter for anything to happen around here?

Track back to 2004. Minister Mr Tan and wife came to US and visited us NUS students on the program. Apparantly when this program was launched, he was quite convinced it'd fail. It didn't and he had a lot of good feedback from the rest of us. I felt quite privilleged to sit at the same table as the couple, and I was sitting next to the wife. When Mr Tan was making his rounds at the other tables, I asked Mrs Tan, what is the government doing about the retrenchment problem?

She gave me some answer which stopped me from asking any further. I mean seriously, Sheryl, do you expect her to say something more than "Oh the goverment had re-training programs……blah blah blah" I remember feeling disappointed and slowly indifferent. After my question, one of juniors happily announced to Mrs Tan that every time a minister visited his camp, he and his camp mates would be very happy. She asks why, and he said cos the food will usually be very good! And she was expressing her shock, and something about the ministers thinking its the real stuff the soliders get, as they see when they visit. By the way, the restaurant we were at was a singaporean one, and that was the best time and taste i ever got from it.

Maybe that was and will be the last time I will ask someone from our current government how to solve a prblem. A little unfair of me to base my judgment on a wife's point of view, though. But i did.
Having said that, I haven't even had the opportunity to even go close to an opposition member. Do they really spend all their time attacking the current party in power? Don't look at me strangely, I really don't know politics. It'll be real swell if we could understand them, instead of reading about them and their lawsuits.

What's the role of the government? I really have no idea. How does our government fare relative to other governments? I mean, I think in general its been good. We don't have the problems of other countries. But why are we generally so unhappy about so many things? Why is it we can find so many things to complain about? Are we just hard to please? Will it help if our ministers came from the heartlands? Is the government just supposed to prevent wars, provide education, health and all the (expensive) public goods?

If you were asked to imagine your ideal government party, what would they be like? My mind's a blank.

I'M STILL ALIVE!

Wonder if anyone knows about this blog.

Last night was a birthday celebration for raine and barry. For the unupdated for some reason, barry is ex bf. I don't have many exes, so there arent that many of cross comparisons that I can do. I think we have a rather decent friendship. Can talk kok and all, which is good enough. When he was contemplating a relationship, he called and I was glad. When he got together with her, I was really happy. In fact, everyone who knew him was happy, kinda. With regards to her, I think she looks like a really nice gal, pretty and all, so really happy for him.
I haven't seen him for eons. The last "bump-into" doesn't really count either. 

Quite a lot of thoughts went through my head as he was seated next to me. Seconds before that I was wondering if i should be sitting next to him. I mean he's gonna be talking to his gf, then i talk to who! But nvm, i is independent. Some part of me began to recall why I did once find him funny and even cute. And I think he is really trying to be a better boyfriend, and I'm real proud of him. Just that, I don't think I know 100% the right way to act around them. 

Since i was mostly talking to myself, i started to think…are there some people who are doom to bad relationships? Like for example, we weren't a very good couple so we broke up, so we'll always bring our individual problematic charcteristics to all subsequent relationships?

Doesn't sound right. So i kinda settled for the idea that every 2 different people would have a combination of different reactions towards each other, thus creating successful relationships when they meet the compatible one. Phew, i thought. It makes it easier to understand how come we had to expire and never made it close enough to eternity. But how come ah. Don't get me wrong. You know and I know we don't love each other anymore at all. All that stuff about chemistry, ingredient X, compatibility and lots more, what do they do?

Actually this got me thinking for quite a bit, that until I reached home I was still thinking about it. I tried to call a friend to talk about it, but he didn't get the hint that I needed to really talk. He too sleepy to hear me out. I think girlfriends are still better.
When daz started working at christofori, i didn't really know what he was doing there. One day, a couple of days after he started work, i called him and he was still at work though it was 9.30pm, half an hour past the time he was supposed to knock off. He was very excited that i called and asked me to hold the line, whilst he played "guan huai fang shi" on the piano. He came back to the phone, sounding all proud of himself having played a mistakeless piece, and I was stunned. For the records, daz cant play the piano. He said he stayed back to practice and just nice i call so he play for me. Got a cher to teach him. My heart totally melted. We've almost reached 2.5 years of our relationship, but I'm still thankful for these moments of trying. At that moment I thought, every relationship can work out, as long as you love each other. As long as you want to try. I mean, really, what is love? To find someone as perfect as possible? Or to find someone who wants to be perfect for you? What do you do to rely on each other? Love and care for each other? To help solve each other's problems? To live a life together? To make decisions together? To make each other laugh? And so on la. 

I wanted to tell daz about what i thought for the day, but we were watching da chang jin till i fell asleep, so maybe next time.

I've always liked this song since my primary school days. But never
looked carefully at the lyrics until i went ktv with my mum yesterday.
It amazingly makes me feel like its describing daz and i.

Love soft as an easy chair
Love fresh as the morning air
One love that is shared by two
I have found with you

Like a rose under the april snow
I was always certain love would grow
Love ageless and evergreen
Seldom seen by two

You and I will make each night a first
Every day a beginning
Spirits rise and their dance is unrehearsed
They warm and excite us, cause we have the brightest love

Two lives that shine as one
Morning glory and midnight sun
Time we’ve learned to sail above
Time won’t change the meaning of one love
Ageless and ever evergreen

got this off py's, wanna try it too!

 

Sheryl has a healthy imagination and displays a fair amount of trust.
She lets new people into her circle of friends. She uses her
imagination to understand new ideas, things, and people.

 

Sheryl's true self-image is unreasonably low. Someone once told Sheryl
that she wasn't a great and beautiful person, and she believed them.
Sheryl also has a fear that she might fail if she takes large risks.
Therefore she resists setting her goals too high, risking failure. She
doesn't have the internal confidence that frees her to take risks and
chance failure. Sheryl is capable of accomplishing much more than she
is presently achieving. All this relates to her self-esteem. Sheryl's
self-concept is artificially low. Sheryl will stay in a bad situation
much too long… why? Because she is afraid that if she makes a change,
it might get worse. It is hard for Sheryl to plan too far into the
future. She kind of takes things on a day to day basis. She may tell
you her dreams but she is living in today, with a fear of making a
change. No matter how loud she speaks, look at her actions. This is
perhaps the biggest single barrier to happiness people not believing in
and loving themselves. Sheryl is an example of someone living with a
low self-image, because their innate self-confidence was broken.

sher: actually my T don't look like that….hmmm…but this was the closest…

 

In reference to Sheryl's mental abilities, she has a very investigating
and creating mind. She investigates projects rapidly because she is
curious about many things. She gets involved in many projects that seem
good at the beginning, but she soon must slow down and look at all the
angles. She probably gets too many things going at once. When Sheryl
slows down, then she becomes more creative than before. Since it takes
time to be creative, she must slow down to do it. She then decides what
projects she has time to finish. Thus she finishes at a slower pace
than when she started the project.
She has the best of two kinds of minds. One is the quick investigating
mind. The other is the creative mind. Her mind thinks quick and rapidly
in the investigative mode. She can learn quicker, investigate more, and
think faster. Sheryl can then switch into her low gear. When she is in
the slower mode, she can be creative, remember longer and stack facts
in a logical manner. She is more logical this way and can climb mental
mountains with a much better grip.

 

Sheryl is secretive. She has secrets which she does not wish to share
with others. She intentionally conceals things about herself. She has a
private side that she intends to keep that way, especially concerning
certain events in her past.

Sher: this one also the closest, but not exactly the right one…

 

Sheryl will demand respect and will expect others to treat her with
honor and dignity. Sheryl believes in her ideas and will expect other
people to also respect them. She has a lot of pride.

 

Sheryl is moderately outgoing. Her emotions are stirred by sympathy and
heart rendering stories. In fact, she can be kind, friendly,
affectionate and considerate of others. She has the ability to put
herself into the other person's shoes.
Sheryl will be somewhat moody, with highs and lows. Sometimes she will
be happy, the next day she might be sad. She has the unique ability to
get along equally well with what psychology calls introverts and
extroverts. This is because she is in between. Psychology calls Sheryl
an ambivert. She understands the needs of both types. Although they get
along, she will not tolerate anyone that is too "far out." She doesn't
sway too far one way or the other.
When convincing her to buy a product or an idea, a heart rendering
story could mean a great deal to her. She puts herself in the same
situation as the person in the story, yet she will not buy anything
that seems overly impractical or illogical. Sheryl is an expressive
person. She outwardly shows her emotions. She may even show traces of
tears when hearing a sad story.
Sheryl is a "middle-of-the-roader," politically as well as logically.
She weighs both sides of an issue, sits on the fence, and then will
decide when she finally has to. She basically doesn't relate to any far
out ideas and usually won't go to the extreme on any issue.

 

People that write their letters in an average height and average size
are moderate in their ability to interact socially.� According to the
data input, Sheryl doesn't write too large or too small, indicating a
balanced ability to be social and interact with others.

 

Sheryl has a desire for attention. People around Sheryl will notice
this need. She may fulfill this need by a variety of ways depending on
her own character.

Here’s mine:

This is what I should look like

And here are who myheritage.com says I look like -

Lucy Alexis Liu (born December 2, 1968) is an Emmy Award nominated American actress of Chinese ancestry, best known for starring in the TV series Ally McBeal and the 2000 film Charlie’s Angels. Her Chinese name is Liú Yùlíng (劉玉玲).

Sher: HUH?

Kristin Laura Kreuk (born December 30, 1982) is a Canadian-born actress and model of Dutch and Indonesian Chinese descent known for her roles on the Canadian television series teen soap Edgemont and on the American television series Smallville in which she plays Lana Lang, Clark Kent’s (Superman) girlfriend.

Sher: Ok I really had no idea whos she. Me not like Superman.

Namie Amuro (安室 奈美恵, Amuro Namie or あむろ.なみえ, September 20, 1977 – ) is a Japanese pop singer and Japanese idol originally from Naha, Okinawa, born to a Japanese father and a half Japanese/half Italian mother. Debuting in 1992 in a girl group named Super Monkeys, she struggled to reach the top until the release of “TRY ME ~Watashi wo Shinijite~” in early 1995 which catapulted her into superstardom. Leaving the group the same year and joining forces with top producer Tetsuya Komuro, Namie went on to become a cultural phenomenon. Now after performing for well over a decade, she continues to be one of Japan’s biggest pop acts.

Sher: At least I know who this is

Song Hye Kyo (born November 22, 1981, registered February 26, 1982) is a Korean model and actress. Before getting her arts degree at Sejong University, Song made her debut by winning the Grand Prize in model search in SunKyung Smart (school uniform brand) and in a Sunday morning drama called “Happy Morning” (KBS,1996). Song co-starred in the KBS drama Autumn Fairy Tale in 2000 with Song Seung-hun. Another drama, All In, in which she co-starred with Lee Byung-Hun, has helped her gain high popularity especially in Korea. Her most recent drama was Full House (KBS, 2004) co-starring the popular R&B singer Rain (Bi). Rumors had been said that they are a couple but they denied it and said that they’re just good friends.

Sher: Hey she’s really quite cute, liked her in the K-shows. Don’t think this pic look like the normal her though

Reika Hashimoto (橋本麗香, Hashimoto Reika) (born 25 December 1980 in Tokyo) is a Japanese model and actress. She is half-Spanish, making her an Eurasian. She has been working as a model since she was 10, and her acting debut was in the 1999 movie Hakuchi (directed by Makoto Tezuka, opposite Tadanobu Asano), and has performed in several movies. On television, she had a participation on TV Asahi’s Profile and has performed in many Chinese soap operas.

Sher: WAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad??? She’s Eurasian?? We’re cross breeding way tooo much

Sammi Cheng (鄭秀文) (pinyin: Zheng Xiuwen, born August 19, 1972, Place of Origin: Chaozhou, Guangdong) is a Hong Kong actress and Cantopop singer. Although primarily a singer, Cheng has had a successful film career, especially in the field of romantic comedy. Her goofy, sometimes scatterbrain image went well with the Hong Kong public. In 2000 she made a series of romantic comedies with Andy Lau and director Johnnie To, including Needing You (2000) and Love on a Diet (2001), which were hits and incorporate some elements of the screwball comedy.

Sher: Erms, I totally can’t find any similarities

Chaka Khan (born March 23, 1953) is the stage name of the African-American singer Yvette Marie Stevens. Khan first came to the attention of the music world as the singer of the funk band Rufus in the mid-1970s and with the help of Stevie Wonder, broke into both the pop music and R&B charts in 1974 with the hit “Tell Me Something Good”. Throughout the 1970s and early 1980s, the band had a number of R&B hits, including “Tell Me Something Good”, “Masterjam”, “Sweet Thing”, “Do You Love What You Feel?”, and “Once You Get Started”. In 1978, Khan recorded her highly-orchestrated Arif Mardin-produced disco smash hit “I’m Every Woman”. In 1984, Khan released her hip-hop based hit, “I Feel for You” off the album of the same name, written (and originally recorded) by Prince with a harmonica cameo appearance by Stevie Wonder, which launched her recording career back into full gear. P…

Sher: LIKE WADDDDDDDDD??? Ok at least I like “I’m every woman”…

Hikaru Utada (宇多田ヒカル Utada Hikaru, born January 19, 1983), also known as Hikki to her Japanese fans, is a J-Pop music star. She was known as Hikaru Utada (where surname comes last) once, in credits for a joint song with Foxy Brown, Blow My Whistle on the Rush Hour 2 movie soundtrack. In a Time interview, she explains: “I just figured it’s a good way to separate my English and Japanese personas.” However, ever since Exodus (2004), her first album in the States after her Cubic U era, and on singles from that album, she is credited simply as “Utada,” while the press mostly refers to her as Hikaru Utada. Utada is one of the most popular and successful Asian artists today, given her personality, singing, songwriting, and producing ability, looks, lifestyle, and upbringing. Hikaru Utada’s official name is Hikaru Iwashita (岩下 光, Iwashita Hikaru) as she is married to Kaz…

Sher: I think I liked her songs before, but why does she look so duh here?

Ayumi Hamasaki (浜崎 あゆみ Hamasaki Ayumi, born October 2, 1978) is one of the most popular and influential Japanese pop singers and Japanese idols. She is originally from Fukuoka, Japan. Among her fans, she is commonly known just as Ayu. She officially debuted in 1998 with her first single “poker face”, and to date she has released seven full-length studio albums, one mini-album, two compilation albums, and 39 singles. Ayumi is the first Japanese artist to have her first original seven studio albums top the charts and also the artist that has the most number one singles in history of Japan (with 26 number one singles and 37 Top 10 singles). She has also won the golden prize on the Japan Record Taishou (the most important award in Japanese music) three times in a row in 2001, 2002 and 2003.

Sher: She’s hot!

Emma Charlotte Duerre Watson (born April 15, 1990) is a British actress known for playing Hermione Granger in the Harry Potter film series.

Sher: This pic doesn’t do her justice la. Before reading, I was like who the hell is this!

Quite a few ladies here born same year as me… So there is similarity afterall!